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you startled me! i thought you were the antichrist

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Fic: Nobody Parts No Sea (RPS, Fernando Torres/Steven Gerrard, R) [Mar. 23rd, 2009|08:22 pm]
you startled me! i thought you were the antichrist
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Title: Nobody Parts No Sea
Author: randomeliza
Fandom: Football RPS
Pairing: Fernando Torres/Steven Gerrard
Rating: R
Word count: ~1900
Notes: For sarcastic for being the other half of that Beauty and the Beast parody that is the source of all our team’s current success. I believe in us, bb. Title and summary are from “Easy” by Cory Branan.


Summary: If you really wanna know devotion, take heart in me – in my belief in you. Baby, I believe in you.

Nobody Parts No SeaCollapse )
link21 comments|post comment

Fic: How Not To Learn Self Control (RPS, Fernando Torres/Steven Gerrard/Xabi Alonso, NC-17) [Aug. 14th, 2008|02:52 am]
you startled me! i thought you were the antichrist
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[mood |bouncybouncy]

Title: How Not To Learn Self Control
Author: randomeliza
Fandom: Football RPS
Pairing: Fernando Torres/Steven Gerrard/Xabi Alonso
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: ~2800
Notes: For sarkastic, for being awesome, and for the sexy ladies of ontd_football for their first month as a comm - ILU BBS. Thanks to crediniaeth for audiencing and cheerleading.

Summary: Nando can't help himself.

How Not To Learn Self ControlCollapse )
link38 comments|post comment

Fic: Served, Cold (for Porn Battle VI, Sports RPS, Cristiano Ronaldo/OFC, NC-17) [Aug. 2nd, 2008|01:14 pm]
you startled me! i thought you were the antichrist
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[mood |dirtydirty]

Title: Served, Cold
Author: randomeliza
Fandom: Football RPF
Pairing: Cristiano Ronaldo/OFC
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: ~1600
Notes: Uh, okay. So this is for oxoniensis's annual Porn Battle, but it got a little... well, I guess "out of hand" is an understatement. It's for the prompt "Sports, Cristiano Ronaldo, pegging" which I know sarkastic put in there knowing I'd been joking about writing it for ages as an expression of my hatred for Crispiano, but. *sigh* I've actually written it, and while I couldn't bring myself to write noncon, this is about as close as you'll ever see me get. The unnamed narrator is British, btw, but speaks Brazilian Portuguese, hence the tiny tiny bits I've thrown in. "Rapaz" is kind of like "boy" or "lad", sometimes used derogatorily (as here) but mostly not. Thanks to crediniaeth for audiencing and assuring me I'm not a horrible person. And finally, as for the dual cut tags - the second is where the post of this on Porn Battle ends. Plz to just ignore it.

Summary: As you talk, you walk around him, voice low and impassionate throughout, watching him begin to shudder with some fucked up combination of want and fear.

Served, ColdCollapse )

As you talk...Collapse )
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Fic: A Beginner's Guide To Professionalism (RPS, Michael Ballack/Torsten Frings, NC-17) [Jul. 19th, 2008|05:52 pm]
you startled me! i thought you were the antichrist
[Tags|, , ]
[mood |embarrassedembarrassed]

Title: A Beginner's Guide To Professionalism
Author: randomeliza
Fandom: Football RPS
Pairing: Michael Ballack/Torsten Frings
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: ~1000
Notes: For sarkastic, because she fulfilled her end of the bargain. This story was mostly inspired by her, anyway. Hope it lives up to your dream, dear. Sorry it's not longer.

Summary: The first thing Michael Ballack would explain to newly capped players joining the Nationalmannschaft for the first time, if they were to ask, is that Torsten Frings does not actually hate them.

A Beginner's Guide To ProfessionalismCollapse )
link18 comments|post comment

Fic: Victory, Defeat, And Other Moments For Roger Federer's Private Wimbledon Scrapbook (Tennis RPS, [Jul. 15th, 2008|12:38 am]
you startled me! i thought you were the antichrist
[Tags|, , ]
[mood |embarrassedembarrassed]

Title: Victory, Defeat, And Other Moments For Roger Federer's Private Wimbledon Scrapbook
Author: randomeliza
Fandom: Tennis RPS
Pairing: Roger Federer/Rafael Nadal
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: ~2000
Notes: This was pretty much entirely prompted by siriaeve , who allowed me to squee at/with her about how hot they are and how they totally ought to be having lots and lots of sex, possibly in locker rooms. And I swore I would never write RPS: oh, how the mighty have fallen.

Summary: He stands for a while, there at the net, and watches Rafa lay in the dust and roll with the sheer joy of it all.

Victory, Defeat, And Other Moments For Roger Federer's Private Wimbledon ScrapbookCollapse )
link24 comments|post comment

Fic: Warmth to Wax (Torchwood, Jack/Ianto, NC-17) [Jan. 24th, 2008|02:15 pm]
you startled me! i thought you were the antichrist
[Tags|, ]
[mood |creative]

TItle: Warmth to Wax
Author: randomeliza
Fandom: Torchwood
Pairing: Jack/Ianto
Rating: NC-17
Word count: ~1000
Notes: Title is from a quote by Arthur Schopenhauer - "Politeness is to human nature what warmth is to wax."

Summary: When Jack asks him, later that day, if he’s really as rude as all that, Ianto doesn’t hesitate to say yes. It’s true, after all.

Warmth to WaxCollapse )
link66 comments|post comment

Fic: Arrivals (Supernatural, Sam/Ruby, NC-17) [Oct. 27th, 2007|01:04 pm]
you startled me! i thought you were the antichrist
[Tags|, , ]
[mood |dorky]

Title: Arrivals
Author: randomeliza
Fandom: Supernatural
Pairing: Sam/Ruby
Rating: NC-17
Word count: ~1500
Warning: Um, het? Do we warn for that? Also spoilers through 3.04, "Sin City".
Disclaimer: Supernatural is really really not mine.
Notes: Thanks to siriaeve for reading this through and assuring me that it doesn't suck, and also pointing out stupid typos, and also supplying me with Supernatural in the first place. Fangirl solidarity, yo.

Summary: He wanted her to see his frustration. He wanted to scare the big bad demon.

ArrivalsCollapse )
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Fic: Blowjobs Can't Save The Universe (But You Might As Well Try) (Doctor Who, NC-17) [Jun. 18th, 2007|05:57 am]
you startled me! i thought you were the antichrist
[Tags|, , ]
[mood |awake]

Title: Blowjobs Can't Save The Universe (But You Might As Well Try)
Author: randomeliza
Fandom: Doctor Who/Torchwood
Pairing: Jack/Ten, Jack/Nine/Rose, Jack/Nine
Rating: lots of NC-17 in one convenient pornlet size!
Word Count: <1000
Summary: Jack isn't under the illusion that his blowjobs can save the universe.Collapse )
link10 comments|post comment

Fic: Lessons In War, Starting With The Basics (Rome, Antony/Octavian, NC-17) [Feb. 21st, 2007|03:48 pm]
you startled me! i thought you were the antichrist
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[mood |calmcalm]

Title: Lessons In War, Starting With The Basics
Author: randomeliza
Fandom: Rome (the series)
Pairing: Antony/Octavian
Rating: NC-17
Word count: 2000
Disclaimer: Not mine. Also, not really theirs, but... more not mine than not theirs.
A/N: Unbeta'd, so please feel free to point and laugh at all mistakes! Or, y'know, tell me so I can fix them.
Summary: "We'll talk strategy," he tells the messenger. "Let him learn a thing or two about how we'll make his uncle's murderers die screaming."

Antony thinks he know how to handle Octavian, who was once just a boy and is now just a man.Collapse )
link16 comments|post comment

WIP Amnesty: Orange Blossom Special (John/Rodney NC-17) and two others [Feb. 19th, 2007|09:55 pm]
you startled me! i thought you were the antichrist
[Tags|]
[mood |blahblah]

Okay, I give up. *pokes these stories* First up, this one is nearly-complete and yet still not done after OVER A YEAR:

Orange Blossom Special

Rodney knew something was wrong almost the instant he stepped off the puddlejumper.Collapse )

And that's where I left it. If I could write "And then they done sex. The end!" I totally would have. Alas, that doesn't actually work.


The City Lights

Suddenly, abruptly, she was awake.Collapse )

That one I just kind of... I don't know. I wasn't quite sure where I was going with it, and so I just kind of dropped it. It's definitely going to stay dropped.


SGA/Good Omens Crossover

In the bureaucracy of Hell, jurisdiction over Atlantis is a complicated area.Collapse )

That one just ended because... well, because I realised how damn long it would need to be. And then I got panicked, started worrying that my voices were off, and just decided to shelve it for a while. Which then turned into forever and ever.

So these are the WIPs I'm giving up on. Still haven't given up on the Jon/Stephen High School AU, though!
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